Body language, behavior, and words we choose to use are byproducts of thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The two are inextricably linked.

It is inevitable that what we feel inside will eventually come out. It can come out by shouting at people who have no idea of what is going on. It can come out by cutting a wrist. It may come out creatively through song. It may come out by committing murder. It may be expressed through drug addiction. Nevertheless, there are many ways our feelings inside make an outside appearance. We may not realize what is on the inside of us until it come out! The point is it will come out eventually.

Our communication is an important part of our lives. How we choose to express ourselves to the world matters. Sometimes we can’t explain why we said something or reacting to that person in that way or why we felt that way when that person said that thing. Other times we may know. The shared foundation for both experiences and communicative response is the same—our thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

We can better understand our communication when we better understand that which lies inside of us. Getting to the root of our communication by processing our thoughts, feelings, and experiences, is not a one-and-done exercise. In fact, it is a life-long learning exercise that allows us to keep learning about ourselves. Keep reading to learn three (3) tips on ways to better understand your communication.

We can better understand our communication if we:

• Reflect on how we reacted in the moment. Oftentimes we can easily identify what someone else did or said but our recall or our behavior can get fuzzy. It is important to acknowledge what we did well and areas where we can develop for a better outcome.
• Identify what we reacted to. Feelings have a way of transcending time. We can express a feeling that has been dormant for years that has nothing to do with the current situation. However, we may have been triggered by something said or done in the moment that takes us back in time. We need to be able to identify what inside of us is reacting to the current situation.
• Be present in the moment. There are many distractions that prevent us from being focused on and present in the moment. Take time to turn off cell phones, emails, social media, television, and all other things that take attention. Tune into the moment we are sharing with another person. Give them your undivided attention.